New year resolutions

new year resolutions

1- quit
2- stick
3- bite

" Please " stop having music shows in the name of awareness

I dont know if the read a thon or the other stuff will work, but having a music show in the name of awareness is just another lame excuse for a music show... it would have been so much better to have had something that would focus more towards all of us than the Youth only... yes youth can make a difference but i know for a fact alot of people who go there arent gonna be listening to anything anyone says about disability but rather they are going because" wow look its a free music show and another place to start a trouble at and take my girlfriend to!" this might sound as if im being rather conservative but from a shit load of experiences with many many elderly people and after seeing alot of failed attempts to make people aware of things using music shows ive noticed it doesnt work.
all over the world there are people who worship and idolize celebrities, artists and famous people hence they listen to them. Isnt that the reason why they have awareness shows because people listen to them... i wonder how many people go to the Maldivian Awareness shows and listen to anything the artist says... All most people care about is there is a show and that is it.
At the moment people would eagerly listen to people who are politically active rather than an artist ... hence it would be far much more better that the president or the former president would go up on the stage and sing to make people more aware of the things they need to be, i wish the ministers or random people would go up on a stage of a place start singing id really pay alot of money to see that... Anything but a music show with ...


sigh... if you want a music show have one but stop making excuses to have one!

by the way " Please" make it possible for the disabled to live a better life by donating atleast 1 rufiyaa. they are no different than you , they can live a normal life with a little help from you!

before death do me apart

1- learn to drive a car
2- watch a person die
3- go bald
4- swim from villingili to male' or male' to villingili
5- go on a vacation with no excess baggage

to be continued

SECRETS!

hehe after along time i m going to blog again and about SECRETS!! i have some anonymous secret!!!

1- the big titted busty computer was infected with a worm hence the brown eyed boy couldn't connect his hardware, the screen kept flashing STI Warning!

2- When she broke up with her Loony toonly insane yet adorable cartoon, the little cartoon became a human and currently is on the wanted list by the female hawks, good for u loony!

3- When he left her wife in boring male' and went on a shopping spree is south east asia, he found the bed warmers came with tits and holes and gave massages for a price! and he was lucky to catch one with a hymen intact!

4- yesterday her life ended when she realized the snake in her bed that disturbed her through out childhood will taunt her for life because it is what she has always suspected it was! ( the case is currently in court awaiting trial)

5- she sits quietly hiding behind a mask that shield her beautiful rainbow self from the world of lightning and rain pretending she enjoys them both though she reallys wants to ride down the rainbow

its time to bring out my birth day wish list

when u are turning 22 some time it feels ridiculous to bring out this list, especially if it contains one or two things that never seem to change. and no one ever bothers to give me. and this time my birthday falls in to the very dreaded time of the academic calendar of our college. my clinical attachment. oh screw that I still plan to not be dead tired on my birthday and hopefully i will be excused from deadly cases.

any ways heres the list, it might differ from the original list i came up with earlier

1- An original mattel barbie doll, preferably a vintage one (http://collectdolls.about.com/library/price/blgalp71.htm)

2- a Cat perferably a kitten

3- an SLR or and SLR like camera

4- Sonic boom alarm clock with a bed vibrator

5- a model of zephyr mark I aka zephyr six ( black please)

6- fattaru thingy for my waist.


when u add 1+2+3+4+5+6 = 21 so that is what i ve want when im done with my 21 years on earth


:P my brithday is 6th of may by the way

Waiting for death...

The time is ticking away
I'm expiring day by day
Yet, deaths not quiet ready for me
I wait for him to knock on my door,
Patiently and quietly him I'm waiting for.
Still he isn't here
and now everyday I fear
and his job, I'll do.
When I'm dead and done, I hope he doesn't sue

kindness of the strangers thank you!

I dont know who you guys are but I really want to thank you guys for helping me today. when I couldn't breath and asked for help the last thing i expected was any one to touch me let alone carry me out side and make me calm down, the Chinese girls who carried me out and the two police women the male and female janitors, I really am grateful for all that you did for me. thank you
I was a stranger and you guys helping me ensuring I stayed calm and didnt lose consciousness all the while rubbing my feet and hands making sure I was warm till the medics came. thank you you loads. the kindness of you strangers, you guys wont be ever forgotten ever... thank you

packya and mr yoga my two lecturers who came to pick me up when they called you guys and the other person from college , thank you for taking me to the hospital.
aesha and nasy thanks for coming, and waiting while the doctor, checked on me. Thank you loads!

NO WEDDING!!!

A friend of mine and I were discussing about marriage since she was getting married to her boyfriend of nine years. We were planning her wedding, she out of the blue asked me, what is your dream wedding, and anything with no restrictions what would you have? It was pretty easy so I answered immediately that it’d be NO WEDDING! She gave me a slap on the hand and asked “seriously” and asked me to think hard and tell her what I really wanted because apparently it’s important to have a dinner wear a fluffy costume.

So for a minute or two I thought and I told her, if I am to have a wedding I want to wear a jeans and t shirts. I want it to be something that I can have fun at not be stressed that my makeup is going to be messed or my dress isn’t fluffy. I want wear a plain white t shirt and jeans. And the guy standing next to me can wear whatever he feels comfortable in. I don’t want to have a back drop where people will come and stand and take pictures of us like as if we are some sort of celebrity wax figures. I don’t want to be the statue who has to smile all the time like it’s something painted on my face.

I want to be able to move about, from place to place. I want it to be in a place where there are sofas, tables ( more like a coffee shop appearance design) I want it to be something like I’m meeting a bunch of friends for a cup of tea or coffee kind of things. I DON’T WANT to have a bunch of flowers in my hand that I need to carry about or a skirt to drag around. I just want to have fun.

She looked at me as if I was some sort of an idiot and told me, you are nuts and exclaimed what about the photos??? What about the pictures, you take pictures don’t you want to remember the moments. It was my turn to look at her as if she is this ridiculous being and I asked her, remember the time we go out and have some fun with our cameras??? I want it to be a bring your own camera kind of things, and if I need to hire a photographer to do our wedding portraits I should make a fund to fly in “Aaron Nace” from North Carolina and who is like the best digital artist/photographer I’ve seen and someone who is inspires me every day. And No I don’t want indoor portrait kind of thing.

That is my dream wedding you asked me what I wanted and it’s what I want and I don’t want it any other way. But there’s a difference between wanting and having. Weddings are suppose to be about the bride and groom, so if they want to have fun I don’t think they should be sitting in one place all the time.

She thought of a moment and started chatting about her dress which included a train and a fluffy skirt, just like a princess regretting ever asking me how I wanted my wedding to be.

Alice! her short story

This is about a girl. About a girl named Alice. This is a story about her a girl who excelled in her class, was the top in the college, yet dropped out from the University of her Postgraduate Class to see the world and lived her life. This is a story about a girl who wanted to live.

Her life as she states in a journal started when she found herself going out with her new found friends. She was making up for all those years she had lost. Years trying to fit in from one social group to the other, and failing miserably as her school work kept her from being with the groups. Each group had an expectation of being with them all the time even if that meant she was to neglect her works. But the dreams of being an astrophysicist was what kept her out of the fun as she had called it.

She changed it all.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Her world was still very bright with her eyes closed. She could hear unusual music. She could feel heat. She slowly opened her eyes. She opened them wide, and rubbed them. Was she dreaming or was she in a trance.

The sky was bright blue and castle stood before her. Flowers everywhere of numerous kinds, and trees bearing fruits of every kind. Heaven or not she wasn't sure. Dreaming or real she couldn't identify. She kept walking around and around looking for her friends. Where were they and how did she get here?

In a distant she saw figures that looked human. They were in a circle, dancing and singing. She rushed to join them but stopped on tracks. She rubbed her eyes again for she kept seeing fairies dancing and drinking what seemed like nectar from roses.

Their wings glittered in the sun. Their dresses made of petals and short exposing their slender legs. They weren't the only ones in the group she noticed. There were oddly colored and dressed goblins. She just stood and stared in amazement counting the number of these beautiful creatures while they increased in number.

One of them came and pulled her in to the circle laughing and giggling. They gave her a golden wine cup, she drank unquestioning and felt as if she melted away. For some reason she understood their language and nodded when one asked if she had pollen from the cherry blossom.

Pollen from the cherry blossom is an experience that one could never imagine. It gives strength and makes one feel younger and more beautiful. The moment she took it she had felt as if all her fears fade away and she had felt light and swayed to the music of the gods. She knew what the little nymphs and elves meant when they asked her, for taking pollen had brought her to them, to this amazing world that was far better and glorious than anything she had ever seen.

She kept dancing and singing with a tambourine in her hands. She was no longer dressed in jeans but she wore a long dress and necklace made of morning dew drops. Her bare foots grazed the wet grass of the flowery field. She danced to a music she had never heard before, yet so soothing. And she flew on a bird she never saw before rising high in to the clouds and touching tree tops with the fairies with the wings that glistened with colors of the rainbow in sun and all the bright colors around. She sang, she danced, and she flew yet just about when she was about to try out her new bright wings and fly to the freedom it all started to fade.

The cheers of the fairies started to disappear. The music started to turn to screams. She felt a gush of cold water going through here skin as she fell, her wings shriveling in to pool. She felt suffocated and drowning in an ocean. She shut her eyes screaming. Something was pulling her hair, touching her face. She felt helpless as she screamed.

It was smurfs. They had her in a pool of ice cold water. They kept trying to pull her in more and more. No matter how hard she tried to get away she was pulled deeper in the pool. She started to tremble and shiver with cold. And she felt her skin turn as blue as the smurfs. Were they trying to turn her one of them? No! They were not trying to turn her in to one; she was already one of them. Her skin was blue, she had a big eyes, blond hair and she wore a white dress with a cap on her head. Her head started to spin...Maybe it was the green blood that seeped through her veins, everyone knows that you can be human for a few moments only before you become smurf again and the change in molecular balance of the body just was too hard for her to handle. But she was home, and now she can rest in peace before sharing the wonderful story with the fellow smurfs. With thoughts of fairies, mingling with humans and dragons and nymphs she fell in to a deep sleep.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

When she died that night, no one came to claim her. People scattered away from her. The paramedics try to revive her number of times. They tried resuscitating her using shocks but had to call her dead when her heart just wouldn’t give a beat.

They pronounced her dead on arrival. The cause of death claimed to be overdose. People who used to know her were there, but no one from her group of friends in that club showed up even to the funeral. They might vet been scared that they might get caught. Or they might have been too stoned and wasted to attend.

Her last entry on a journal they found in her room stated “I want to live and make sure I lived for all that I missed”, but the thing is she died, and she died when all she wanted was to live

who is a better friend?

WHO IS A BETTER FRIEND?
some one who stands by watching a friend throws away his/her life in to a chaos without doing anything and then helping him/her back to their feet when they mess up big time or is it some one who doesnt let him/her throws away his/her life away in to the chaos in the first place???

Legacy of pain

this ones for legacy of pain :)

have you heard of sylivia likens?

those of who has watched the movies "an american crime" or "the girl next door", must be familiar with the story. I was doing a small research on various form of child abuse when i came across her story. though it to in place in the 1960's its gruesome and i cant understand why anyone would do such.
she was a daughter of carnival workers and when her parents were working she was placed under the guardianship of Baniszewski family. She was tortured and abused by gertrude baniszewski.
she was tortured to death. can read the whole story here


http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/young/likens/1.html

President Nasheed's photo gallery in PO site

imagine my surprise when i found this picture in the PO site... I was so jealous that alyan my nine year old brother beat me to it. I so wanted to take a picture with the president Nasheed, well to add it to my collection, if political figures of the Maldives, so far i have one with umar naseer, hassan saeed and maumoon


i wonder what they were talking about ???

Suicide note!!!

Some where deep in that pit
I've lost my faith, lost the hope
One blunder was all it took
and all those days I thought I could cope
but instead;
I realized;
To live this life
I'm not fit.

~2004~


*I do not really know whether this is a suicide note or not ?

life in dead reef

Moorish Idol ( Maldivian name : Dhidha Negi)
Triggerfish ( Maldivian name : Rondu)

I may hate my self in the morning

Ain't it just like one of us to pick up the phone
And call after a couple of drinks
And say "How've you been"
And wonderin' that maybe you've been thinkin' about me
And somewhere in the conversation
An old familiar invitation always arrives
And I may hate myself in the morning
But I'm gonna love you tonight

Everyone's known someone that they just can't help but want
And even though they just can't make it work out
Well the ones who linger on
So once again we wind up in each other's arms
Pretending that it's right
And I may hate myself in the morning
But I'm gonna love you tonight

I know it's wrong,
But it ain't easy moving on
So why can't two friends remember the good times once again?

Tomorrow when I wake up
I'll be feeling a little guilty, a little sad
Thinkin' how it used to be before everything went bad
I guess that's what it is
And late night calls like this that we try to find
And I may hate myself in the morning
But I'm gonna love you tonight

And I may hate myself in the morning
But I'm gonna love you tonight.



....:l dedicated to lost memories of naduha 2005- 2008

WHY college Frustrates me!

Studying is somthing you have to do on your own i ve always agreed. BUT questions comes directly from the notes we are given... most of the time I dont mind as lazy asses mind of mine likes not working on it ... but look at this pictures above... they were the slids i were given... quite interesting because the only word i know is "sinaran" which I think means radiation... forget it im not going to pass last semester exams.

I MISS IT

I miss the days when I didnt know where I was heading, I miss the life where NO one bothered me at all... Wonder if the evil lurks still within. The best part was when I got to act like a real blondie and not worry about the consequence.
There is a world i still see rushing by, and I try not think of all the fun my old friends are having and all the crazy madness they are getting dragged in to.
Right now where I stand is ok but I still would love to have the wave hot air on my face with crowds and waving bodies squeeze my breath out, I would love to not think about the responsibilities of raising a son setting limits and worrying about the future,
I would love to be carefree Again
and have some wild fun!!!

The new cat called Fluffy

Random Rambling " health and occupational hazards"

Maldivian health care facilities has some sort of problems ranging from equipment failure to wrong diagnosis. as i see health care industry of maldives is a business , rather than a human service working to give the people better health. doctors and nurses being one of the most important people in the hospital area, and most likely to be blamed for any wrong done that either, costs the patients life, or he narrowly escapes to give the information to a newspaper which digs more crap and write a load of bullshit. for one thing the main reason most people feed their kids to become a doctor is for the money. At first its always about imagine all the innocent people you can cure and what a good deed it will be , later it becomes its one of the highest paying jobs you will ever find. Anyways Im not concerned about why they become a doctor and it wasnt what i had in my mind to talk about either.
Growing up i considered the janitors jobs are rather very low, but working in a hospital in Malaysia and being around medical staffs I have learnt to respect them more than the highly paid master minds who started the hospital business or the doctors who treat them. People treat them like shits at schools, offices, and at hospitals while they are the people who actually cleans the mess after you have shitted. I've seen doctors and nurses even the patients screaming their heads off and talking to them as if they are retarded. I 've seen grown men cry because of the lowly yelling they recieves because they were a bit too late to arrive to clean a puke mess. it was really disturbing. though most of us thinks that the janitors are not usually the type of people who are educated to well know a virus from RNA , i think its a wise choice to have janitors working in the hospital field educated.
I recently discovered that most of the Maldivian cleaners both working in IGMH and ADK arent well educated enough to know what kind of waste they are handling. I ve heard a woman tell a collegue that she takes home the used syringes after washing them to her children hoping that they would grow up to become a nurse or a doctor... is that even allowed, arent there some strict regulation where the disposal of these kind of stuff is striclty regulated. this is where the education part comes. No you dont have to give them scholarships so they can study up to a degree, but wouldnt an awareness course on subjects that acutally apply to their field be conducted? some of you might wonder how on earth would an emptying of a dustbin be so difficult that one needs to conduct a course on such subjects. im talking about health, occupational hazards, what are they disposing, is it safe to dispose them that way. how hard is it hold a broom and sweep clean an dusty and dirty floor or how hard is it to wash a toilet using all those ammonium based toilet cleaners, and how does it feel when toilet cleaners get mixed with ordinary bleach. (the last bit is a place where common sense is applied)
ever thought of providing the sweepers with masks so they dont come down with colds, or inhale some chemical fumes that may actually lead to more serious health problems.
im not calling the hard working cleaning departments consists of ignorant workers, im just saying that it would be wise to make them even more aware... they arent retarted, just like you and me they are also ignorant to certain things , why not make them more aware?

THIS IS JUST A RANDOM RAMBLING ... so please no hard feelings if any one felt they ve been called dumb or retarded

some memories are best thrown away ...

Dear murderers!!!

she was my lady light in pink... though cracked many times with bandaged in masking tape with a shattered shield, she still was there when i needed her assistance. she led me through my tough times while i worked day and night. she was the first light i see when i wake up and the last before i fell asleep. she gave me hope in completing tasks. she helped create magic, artistic images that sent me in to a world of fairytales. my dreams rose from the magic she helped me create, she gave me the courage to seek you... yet you ignored my pleas not to kill her, shattered her inhumanely, did you not hear me cry , did you not here her pleas, what was her fault, what did she do to you? you murdered her, didnt think for a moment what you were doing? what was that rage that you had that made you kill an innocent. yes she was broken, but she still shined ever so brightly as always. but you never saw her for that. replacing her by a new one was all you could think of. i made so many memories with her... and all those memories are all that remains. i sit here wishing she would one more time appear in my room. give me her light, give me the comfort i require when i need tackle all the bodily parts and the physiology. when i tackle the mathematical curves, the images of shattered bones... i miss her... i miss her more than i miss the murderer who took her life... i miss the lamp on my desk...!!!


bandey you murdered my dear lamp and i cant study because of it !!!

notice board!!! DIY

this killed my boredom


you will need
cardboard
scissors
brush
double sided mounting tape
paint
brush

glitter, stickers, construction paper are optional

first you cut the cardboard in to two equal pieces



next you cut small pieces of mounting tape and paste it on one of the boards and stick both pieces together...





then choose one side as the back and the other as front. on the back, stick lengthy pieces of mounting tape and on the front paint on the card board with the colour of your choice.





decorate your notice board with what ever you want and mount it on anywhere you want...

Whats on my list for 2009!!!

1- get my room in a working order
(i'll dump the job to bandey he will be much better at it than me)
2- Learn to bake without attempting suicide and yeah fry without burning the house down...
( i nearly killed my self by slitting the wrist when my hand went through the oven window)
3- buy a one of those nintendo game thingies and play sonic ( i never played it ever before i know im lame!)
( I do play games, i had a thing for mario, king of fighters, dracula,soul calibur etc... )
4- start saving to buy my dream gears!!! which must come with all accesories to make it more ravishing. just the thought of having it makes me drool
( my dream pc system along with my dream camera and all the accesories)
5- buy a limited edition of that model of porche panamera the 2010 one as soon as the model gets out... ( by the way have you seen the aston matin rapide , there are spy shots all over the internet, bloody expensive but very very hot)
( thanks to my brother i like the new cars and leave it to him to drool on antiques though i wouldnt mind having a 1930 Ford Model A Roadster... i really dont know that much about the cars unless I have an urge)
6- Learn Malay... atleast to get around alone at the hospital while working there!!! grrr