Frustrations of a living girl.

Six months since i last saw you. Six months since i last shared a night with you. Six months. half an year. damn you Mister. I wish you died in that accident. I wish you never woke up. At least i wouldn't be waiting.

Say you haven't visited this land. But your mother calls me to tell me each and every month when you come here. Each time i lie to her telling that i did see you and you were doing well while i resist the urge to scream. I stay wishing you would at least have the decency to give me a call.

And when you did have the decency to give me a call and ask me to meet you; you damn stood me up. You could have atleast told me that you were with HER. i could have swallowed it, like always do. How long do i have to act as if i mean anything to you and how long do i have to lie to your mother that you and me are in a commitment when in truth we are not ready for one.

Once upon a time your globe trotting life made me comfortable, your two timing and one night stand things didnt bring any suspicions to my heart you know that damn well when i sat in your sitting room watching TV when you were in your bedroom and i even pretended to be your sister.

I expected you to change after the accident give a me a little more time, work out the things we missed for your mothers sake. If i didn't promise her that id give you a chance and mend this very broken relationship i wouldn't have even considered the open thing.

You can go to that thing alone or find a one night stand to escort you. all i know is im through being seen with you. AS far as I KNOW I HATE YOUR EGOCENTRIC SELF.
if you wanna talk to me tell your mother the truth.

the International Day against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking

Yesterday was the international day against drug abuse and illicit trafficking. A demonstration was held to mark the day. the main purpose of it was to raise awareness on the subject of addiction.
Demonstrators called out to join hands to help the addicts instead of out casting them... and to bring them back to the society.
What impressed me the most was that people of different ages participated in this event. Aged and barely able to walk , youths, adults, middles aged and even kids. they all wanted one thing... they all had one aim ... one voice ... "save our nation from drug abuse"

check out the cool link below to get a lil bit more insight on what drug addiciton and abuse is and how it can be treated.
http://www.nida.nih.gov/PODAT/PODAT4.html

me myself and that stranger !

i stare at the stranger in the glass
she looks exactly like me
but who is that
and who am i?
thats the stranger the whole world looks at
but i am the person inside she
the true self they should see
yet thats the image they judge as me...

path to his life

path to his life, originally uploaded by andhu.

he sat there alone waiting for something that never came. his sister who needed special help sat on the grass playing with the weed flowers. he neither felt happy nor sad. At dusk he felt the sense of accomplishment and the beauty of his life. He is one step closer to growing up and leaving the dreadful life he has. he has to find a way to take his sister with him. away from their wretched hands.
his life is a horror story that he hid from the rest of the world. they thought he didnt know what was happening. but he knew what he saw at home was wrong. they made everyone believe that his sister went mad after the stroke. but the truth was she went mad after father tuck her in bed. his mother knew it all yet she did nothing. her husband was her dealer her provider and she lived on that poison. but one day... he swore one day he ll make it all go away because his name was his to keep and he d write it where no one can mess it up.

?

another post.... fine i cant sleep!

i was going through these blogs... these people are having these trivia kind of stuff going a lot these days .... :S wow... i ve been away for too long !!!

fairy tales

Today I got two beautiful roses from a friend. a pink and a yellow rose. They weren't de- thorned like most roses available in flower shops. i pricked my fingers upon receiving them which triggered a memory i had discarded long ago.
A long time ago when i was very naive and very intolerable with very boyish habits i had a friend who the rest of them labeled as "the guy" . We use to hang out and have fun. Fun as in go swimming, draw each other and play paint ball. he once gave me a pink rose with thorns and asked me to hold it as tightly as i could if he meant anything to me... and i held it as tightly as i could ... till my hand bled. i winced in pain but he meant a lot to me. i held it till he took it from my hand threw it away and surprised me with my first kiss. And me and him lived happily ever after...
Wrong! I lost him a month later. i bid him my last good bye 6 months later. i held on to his memory for an year and half . i let him go and moved on but still today he meant as much as he meant that day ....
MORAL OF THE STORY: a rose without thorns is a fake
* this is one stupid post!

FLIKCRERS...

i joined flickr 6 to 7 months ago ... recently i met the some of the maldivian flickrers in the community and since then i have enjoyed being with them and listening to tips and somtimes foni anga ( no offence) here are some of the shots i got of them in action during a fun trip t o villingili :) enjoy

toturing a child (kidding)

photographers in poses while they photographs

everyone on the walk

zahid on a spy mission

everyone on beach

excuse me i crushed my toe.

It was just another day, i had made lot of plans and one of them was trying out a new cool trick i read about during the sunset. But things didn't go as i planned. At 5 i was ready to head out, my camera wasn't. I grabbed the camera from the wardrobe and was to rush off when the neatly folded and colour arranged t- shirts and shirts fell on to the floor. Usually i would have left the mess as it is but remembering mom's warning about leaving the clothes lying around i picked it up stuffed it inside. I slid the door (the wardrobe has a sliding door) close except it didn't close. it came off the tracks and fell right on my right foot crushing my toe.

yeooooooooooooooooooow. i was facing the mirror when it fell and i still can remember the the painful look on my face as i screamed. ow ow ow ! i hopped around , got out and yelled for my aunt who immediately came running and put an ice pack around the finger and the swelling foot. everyone at home was making a fuss about it. i howled and cried. even sucked my thumb to keep myself together. i couldnt move my toe nor did i feel it. a cousin later told me that he thought i was crazy because i was laughing and crying at the same time.

Any ways i ended up at going to IGMH a place i dread. Half my class mates from CHSE work there. the worst part was i couldn't walk and i was taken to the emergency room in a wheelchair. everyone was staring at me. i immediately called one of my best friend who work there who i knew would make things a little bit easier for me. and she did though, she fussed around a bit too when i refused the injection to kill the pain(i regretted the later). When it was time to take an X ray mum and ayesh wheeled me to the x ray room. and thats where the word spread... i was in IGMH with a swollen right foot. damn.... that was embarrassing.

luckily i had no broken bones but damaged soft tissue and haemorrhage. i got myself an MC to avoid office before heading home. and i d rather not talk about the pain i was in later that night...

Perfect place to be?

I use to see the sandy beaches

Where the waves come caress the shores.

I used to see the palm trees tall and mighty

Trying to touch the clear blue sky.

I used to play a game

But there’s no space to play it anymore

I used to have my privacy

Sitting on the swing at home

I used to breathe fresh air

That’s cleansed by the surrounding greenery.

I used to see my Male'

Perfect for my kids to be.

Without the terrifying monsters

That now hurl around the streets.

Without the roaming zombies,

That lurks around the dark corners.

Without the concrete tallness

That scares the hell out of me.

Without all the so called progress

The capital made they've made us see.

Without the masks we wear

In front of the friends a.k.a. enemies

Without the things that I see now

It’s still the perfect place to be!

my journey begins!

http://flickr.com/photos/andhu/537053617/

I stood listening to the stabbing words that came out of her. Her vicious tongue showed me no mercy. I could not utter a single word. I stood dumbstruck while my brain screamed " I told you so". All i wanted was to please her. Please her so that for once I can feel the love I had craved for all my life.
Everything i had done for her. Things i had given up for her, none of them mattered. trying to please her I had lost myself. Unsure of my self and insecure I was lost in a strange world that she created for me. What do i want? Where do i go? How do I grab a hold of myself.
Lots of times i had tried to escape this torture i go through. But the escape I seek is a sin, a selfish choice. For death I waited but why should i give up living and leave behind no foot print of my existence? I can always start over. start building my life from scratch. Start over.
This is where my journey begins ... slowly escaping the memories of the haunting past. Aiming for a better future this is where the journey begins.